I’m scared right now, the sick to your stomach, I might vomit, kind of scared. My husband and I have been working really hard on making one of our dreams become a reality and we are getting really close to it all falling into place. The thing is, now that it’s starting to happen I’m feeling so much fear and anxiety around the subject and I’m questioning every decision that we're making.
We’ve been saving up to buy a house for our family and we’ve been looking all over the Northeast and Mid-Atlantic, I mean all over from North Carolina to Maine. The thing is that where we live is not as important to us as how we live. You see, we are buying a house outright for cash and we're getting ready to settle into a new life. As you can imagine, plunking down a large sum of money that you've been saving for years on one thing can be stressful! And we want to find the perfect house in the perfect community. We're leaving the exact state up to the Universe to guide us there! I know a little woo woo, and a lot of pressure!
We have moved around a lot the past few years. We’ve lived in 4 different houses since 2014, all while carting our 3 kids along. And all while working super hard to save money and prepare for the day when we could finally choose exactly where we want to settle our crew.
Why is it that now when we are ready to make that choice and we are finalizing our plans am I getting that sick to my stomach feeling of uncertainty? Is the Universe trying to tell me something? Should I listen to the little voices in my head and the swirling waves in my gut? Is it wisdom or is it fear?
Most importantly how does one tell the difference?
A major part of my work is helping women determine whether that little voice in their head is the voice of fear or the voice of wisdom and whether or not they should listen to that voice or to tell it to shut up! Well here I am experiencing my own dilemma with understanding if the major life decision we are about to make is a good one or not.
Here's how I’m talking myself off the ledge and here is what you need to know to determine if you're experiencing fear or wisdom in the face of a difficult decision.
Fear and wisdom both have important jobs to do to protect us and to help us live our best lives safely. But their jobs are very different.
Fear wants to keep us safe.
Wisdom wants us to grow or expand.
Both have a place, and it’s important to be able to identify what’s showing up for you when faced with a challenge so you can determine if you’re holding back due to fear or because wisdom (your intuition) is guiding you.
So what’s the test? How do you know?
Ask yourself this simple question. This thing you are considering (in my case a major life change and buying a house in a completely new place) listen to your body and how you’re feeling physically…
Do you feel expansive or do you feel contracted?
This is a sure fire way to determine if what you’re feeling is fear or wisdom. If at the thought of making a major decision your body wants to contract, to protect itself, to shrink away and hide, chances are you’re feeling fear and there may be good reason to walk away from that decision.
But if at the thought of making your decision you feel your body opening, your shoulders moving back, your chest and head raising, then you can ignore those nauseous feelings and be assured that this is a normal part of making a major decision, even when it’s the right one!
Our physical bodies are extremely powerful and intuitive. It’s why you can tell someone is lying by watching their facial expressions and body language even if the words they are saying make sense. 80% of our communication is nonverbal. Our natural physical state is responsive to deep emotions and it's very difficult to modify or misinterpret what your body is saying.
Tapping into your body's reaction to the decision by using the contract or expand test is a great way to help you figure out what’s going on!
If you're like me and have some major decisions to consider, then I encourage you to try this and see if it helps you get some clarity. More to come on the decision I am faced with right now, but I can tell you that there is a sense of expansion in these shoulders, despite the butterflies in the gut :)
Thanks for reading.