I’ve been super busy – I feel like I’ve been saying that a lot lately! But I have been. I have a demanding corporate job, a busy side hustle, a huge house renovation underway, 3 kids, and all types of summer vacations and visitors to deal with.
I’m not complaining, simply pointing out that I’m constantly trying to claw my way to the top of a never ending to-do list of important things.
For the past few weeks in a row I missed publishing a blog post. And the thing is…I love writing this blog. I enjoy sharing ideas and telling stories. Writing has always been something that I’ve been fond of, no matter what type of writing I was doing. It feels like entertainment to me, and I like entertaining myself and others! So not finding the time to write my blog is especially disappointing to me.
I was thinking about this, as another Tuesday morning was approaching and I realized I hadn’t written a thing, I was going on 3 weeks now and felt so disappointed. I felt like a failure and like I wasn’t living up to what I wanted to be or what I said I was going to do.
I mentioned this to a friend of mine and she asked me a question that got me thinking. She asked, “Who are you trying to impress?” I thought about it and felt like the answer was no one; I’m not trying to impress anyone with writing a weekly blog that less than 100 people read! (Thank you for reading by the way) Then she asked me, “So who are you comparing yourself to?”, again I thought about this and the answer was no one. I don’t read many other blogs and I don’t have a person that I am trying to emulate in my writing at all.
But then I started thinking and realized that maybe I was comparing myself to someone… Maybe the person I was comparing myself to was the version of myself I think I should be.
Stick with me here…
Do you ever tell yourself, I should be doing this, or I shouldn’t be doing that? Have you set yourself up to believe that you should be, think, or do things a certain way. Only to feel let down when you can’t live up to an unrealistic version of who you wanted to be?
I say unrealistic, because sometimes we are lazy and aren’t focused or trying hard enough, and sometimes, for goodness sake, we’ve set unrealistic expectations for ourselves that we’ll never live up to!
I’m cutting myself a break and trying not to compare myself to this picture perfect, every moment jam packed, trying to do all the things all the time version of myself.
Did you hear that Universe - I’m cutting myself a break!
I may not have gotten this post up the past few weeks, like I thought I should, but it’s out there now nonetheless. I still got the experience of writing, which is something I enjoy and you got the experience of reading, which is something I hope you enjoy!
This is a new way of thinking for me, and maybe it will be for you too. I feel I’ve moved past caring what other people think about me (I do too many embarrassing things, too often, to worry about that!) and I think I’ve moved further along than ever before when it comes to comparing myself to others. Now, I’ll work on trying not to compare myself to myself. Try that on for size!
There’s only so much one person can do. If you can look yourself in the mirror and know for sure that you’ve tried your very best, then cut yourself a dam break and let your best be enough for today.
I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts. Do you compare yourself to a made up version of who you think you’re supposed to be? Please tell me I’m not the only one!
Thanks for reading.